How do you sign off your e-mails? I use "Warm Wishes", "Best" or "Keep me updated!" - because usually anything and everything changes by the hour in my job. My mom signs her e-mails to me as "LOVE BEING YOUR MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and I receive a lot in return with "Thanks!" "I'll be in touch." or "Kind regards". They all work, but an article on the Frisky got me thinking. What does it all mean - well they enchantingly explained.
First an excerpt from a stunning New York Time's article by Judith Newman "When 'Best' isn't good enough"
Quirkier signoffs can be every bit as much a personality signifier as clothing — the equivalent of a leather jacket or Jimmy Choos. Katrina Markoff, who owns Vosges Haut-Chocolat, closes her e-mails with the words “Peace, love and chocolate.” (“She believes she can bring peace to the world through chocolate,” her spokesman says.)
I used to think my friend Bishop Savas of Troas, the director of the Office of Society and Culture of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese of America, signed his e-mails with a “+” instead of an X for kiss because it was his unique form of proper, churchly affection toward me. Um, no. “This is actually a common signoff among those in the church, but please, don’t let that disturb your theory,” he generously explained.
On the other side of the theological aisle, David Hirshey, executive vice president at HarperCollins, tends to close his e-mails with the words “Stay Jewish” — “though mostly with friends who are Gentiles,” he added. “I find it works best when the person’s last name is something like O’Hara or Soprano.”
People go through periods where they try on different closes like hairstyles. “Norman used to use ‘Cheers,’ and I tried to appropriate it when he died,” the writer and artist Norris Church Mailer said of her husband, Norman Mailer. “It just wasn’t me.” For now, Ms. Mailer is sticking with the lowercase xx — “which are not really kisses but a placeholder, as if I don’t really know how I feel about this person, and they can apply whatever meaning they choose.” But Ms. Mailer did approve of the signoff I was currently trying on, “Be Fabulous.”
“I love that!” she said. “Of course, I’ve lived in Provincetown for the past 35 years.”
Confusing for many of us, particularly in business relationships, is the question of familiarity. People will start with “Sincerely” and work their way up — “Regards,” “Best,” “Warmly,” “Fondly.” But then there’s inevitably a point where a decision needs to be made.
“I’ll be having a back-and-forth e-mail — I’ll get ‘Best’ and ‘Regards’ and ‘Cheers’ — and all of a sudden I get ‘Love,’ ” said Will Schwalbe, a co-author, with David Shipley, the editor of The New York Times’s Op-Ed page, of the book “Send: Why People Email So Badly and How to Do It Better.” “And then I’m tortured. Is it just a dumb slip? Or is it a Freudian slip? And if you return the ‘Love,’ it’s like an arms race — how do you step back without insulting someone?”
Thomas Mallon, a novelist and the author of “Yours Ever,” a book about some of the world’s best letter-writing, said: “I’ve learned over time that X-ing and O-ing in a business relationship, no matter how much you may like the person, is probably buying yourself trouble. Because there will come a time when you have contentious business — and then what?”
And as mortifying as the runaway train of escalating intimacy can be, the complete misplacement of it can be worse — so easy to do when one of the most reflexive signoffs is XOXO. (Startlingly, even William F. Buckley Jr. used it.) Eric Poole, a Fox executive and the author of “Where’s My Wand?” — a memoir about growing up gay and Baptist — still shudders a little remembering the day when he “accidentally signed XOXOXO to my straight male boss. To which he replied, ‘I’m flattered, but let’s take it slow.’ ”
Earlier this year, Web Worker Daily broke down some of the other hidden messages behind common email sign-offs. This is their verdict:
“Cheers” — Signing off with “Cheers” implies, “I’m casual, yet professional.” We could share beers at the bar, or we could do an angel VC deal. Or both. “Cheers” is designed to command a certain amount of respect while still maintaining a level of approachability.
“Thanks” — Closing with “Thanks” says, “Just do what I’ve asked in the body of this e-mail, and let’s leave it at that.” Even though that might not be the writer’s intention, it can come across as patronizing. However, “Thanks” can, and should, be used in the early stages of an email relationship. It’s safe, it’s no-nonsense, and it rarely lends itself to interpretation. When in doubt, “Thanks,” in all its blandness, simply works.
“Best” — Signing off with “Best” basically means, “I wish good things for you.” Ultimately, “Best” says that the sender’s professional-personal ratio is at about 9-to-1: the sender wants to keep things proper, while showing a little personal attention.
“Take Care” — The sender is striving for more verbal, personal communication. When used in the right situation, this type of closing can work well because it increases the friendliness of the email.
Nothing at all (or just an initial) — May imply that you’re on the run, which can be perceived as good or bad: Good because you’re quick to reply no matter where you are; bad because you’re always somewhere doing something else. The “no closing/initials instead” approach may show that you’re not one to waste time and that you want to set the tone for the entire communication sequence.
So, what do you think? Do these adequately describe you? And since the article didn’t mention “XOXO,” I say we decide what its “hidden message” is. Suggestions? [via New York Times and Web Worker Daily and The Frisky]
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